Why our brain makes decluttering so hard (It’s not our fault!)

Tactile sympathy, personification, and The Endowment Effect can all play a role in hindering our decluttering efforts and preventing us from achieving our ideal lifestyle and goals. They complicate the decision-making process, often resulting in a cluttered living space. Let’s discuss in more detail. 

Tactile Sympathy
"Tactile sympathy" (coined by Judith Kolburg) means that when we touch items we own it can set off a whirlwind of emotions and attachments that we may not have even realized we had. This is especially true with sentimental items or items of significance. From there our emotions take over and the emotional part of your brain is now making decisions on what to donate and what to keep. Ideally you would like for the logical part of your brain to make the majority of the decisions during decluttering.

Personification/Object Empathy
Personification or object empathy describes our natural tendency to project human feelings onto our belongings. This is all a very normal thing so it is helpful to be aware of these natural tendencies especially during the decluttering process. There are instances where there is an extreme emotional attachment to objects, which can indicate underlying conditions such as hoarding. In this case, individuals may benefit from professional help to understand and manage these attachments. Objects can act as a memory trigger so often people worry that letting go of an item will erase the memories, but there are alternative ways to trigger memories you don't want to forget while still removing clutter in your home.
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The Endowment Effect
The Endowment Effect is when we place a higher value on things we own vs things that do not belong to us, even if the items are exactly the same thing. This effect stems from a sense of ownership, emotional attachment, and is often linked to loss aversion. Loss aversion is the human tendency to feel the pain of a loss more strongly than the pleasure of an equivalent gain. This leads down a path of avoiding the loss of something, or simply not decluttering items no longer serving you. Oftentimes the perceived value of the items we own continues to intensify because of emotional connections that are formed while owning the items, thus making it even harder to part with items. This explains why we can place a high value price tag on items we want to sell even if we wouldn't pay that same price for the item. This is also why freebies and free trials can be a slippery slope.

Strategies that actually work
Now that you know a little more about how we can get in our own way, here are some strategies to help keep these obstacles in check:

Put physical distance between you and the items. Ask a friend or family member to hold up each object for you to decide what to do with it. This creates a physical separation that can weaken the emotional intensity associated with touch.
Start with less sentimental objects. Avoid beginning with items that have strong emotional connections. Start with a less-used space, like a junk drawer or storage closet, to build your "decluttering muscle" on items with minimal attachment.
Capture the memories digitally. For items you decide to let go of, take a photograph of them. You can even create a physical or digital photo book of cherished items and their stories, allowing you to preserve the memory without keeping the physical object.
Create a memory box. Designate a special box for your most treasured sentimental keepsakes. This sets a physical boundary for the total volume of items you will keep, and allows you to curate your collection down to only the most important things.

Give items a final, loving use. Before letting go of an item, consider using it intentionally one last time. This can provide a sense of closure and honor the role the object has played in your life, such as wearing a special piece of clothing or using a beloved dish. You can even take a photo while wearing or using the item.
Repurpose items creatively. Give an item a new life by turning it into something new. An old t-shirt, for example, can be made into a quilt, or a beloved blanket can be repurposed for a pet. This allows you to honor the object's memory while giving it a new function.
Acknowledge and process your emotions. Recognize that it is normal to feel sadness or guilt when decluttering sentimental objects. Allow yourself to feel these emotions, but remind yourself that letting go of the object does not mean you are losing the memory. Keep reminding yourself of your goals and looking forward to the newfound space you will be clearing out.
Wear gloves (I know it sounds a little weird, right?)
Physical touch is a powerful sensory input linked to memory and emotion. Putting on gloves creates a layer of separation, making it easier to see items for what they are rather than becoming overwhelmed by memories. This can prevent you from getting "stuck" on an object, unable to decide if you should let it go.
Wearing gloves signals a work mindset: experts find that putting on gloves signals to your brain that it is time for a tough, hands-on job. This ritual can shift your focus from reminiscing to efficiently sorting items into categories like "Keep," "Donate," and "Discard."
Wearing gloves can be helpful if you are using the KonMari method. This method requires you to touch every item to determine if it "Sparks Joy." Gloves can help manage or decrease intense sensations or memories while you still physically handle each object.
Be intentional about letting go. If you are donating an item, research a recipient who will appreciate it. When you feel confident that the item is going to a good home, it can make the letting-go process easier. We have a list of local resources and what they accept that can help you with this.
Take it slow. Decluttering can be a marathon, not always a sprint. Break the process up into short, manageable sessions to prevent yourself from becoming overwhelmed by the emotions involved. Set a timer or listen to some music to help keep you moving forward.
Enlist support from a friend or professional. Ask a trusted, non-judgmental friend or family member to help you stay focused. If you need additional support, a professional organizer or therapist can provide strategies for addressing deeper emotional attachments.

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Cassie Thompson, Owner & Professional Organizer

Helping others by decluttering and organizing their space(s) is a huge passion of mine. Since opening Serene Spaces in 2013 it has always been my goal to help others by transforming their space(s) so that their lives can also be transformed.  Our spaces have a profound effect on our mental health and physical well being. I love to hear from clients that they have less mental exhaustion, they feel lighter, and they have more free time to do what they love. ​